OBIECHINA THE MAN IN CHARGE

The last time I saw Obiechina, he was lanky, looking pale and probably feeling the brunt of a dwindling national economy. We were friends back then in the university, a vibrant young guy with a cool tendency to regale his friends with incredible stories of his family's wealth and affluence. But that's not my concern when I ran into him some time last year. I paid his bus fare as he was already quarreling with the bus conductor over a well known price for a distance between two bus terminals. 

So you could imagine my happiness when I attended a friend's wedding reception last week and it was Obiechina who was saddled with that enviable responsibility: the sole controller of food and drinks. 

I was greatly elated. The night before, my cooking gas went dry. I decided to go fasting for God's remembrance of those who had been subjected to forced fasting since the inception of this regime of change. Then came morning, and I took bread and cold tea (boarding school taught us a lot). Then I dressed up and went headed for the church. I love wedding masses so much; so much preaching about leaving parents, submission to the will of a man and the reciprocation of such submission with love and tenderness by the man. During the taking of the photographs and I felt a little bite in my tummy and the signal was quite clear- the worms have nothing more to feed on but the lining of my intestines. I needed to eat.

So the site of Obiechina and the resources under his care sent feelings of satisfaction and elation all around my body and soul. As I approached him, I remembered the first thing we met after a long while. A part of my brain told me that I should rejoice after all, one good turn deserves another. The humble part reminded me that we mustn't expect our reward here on earth. The other one quickly countered: “you didn't expect any payback, the Lord just provided this opportunity. "

The reception arena was almost filled up when I entered. On sighting Obiechina I headed his direction to greet him and maybe remind him of my presence.  We locked eyes before I closed down the distance between us so I started hailing him from that point: "Echina the man, Biggest boy." He was just smiling and two more steps I shook hands with him. "How do you know the celebrant" I quizzed. “we live on the same street" he replied. There was something about his reply; it was cold and mean at the same time. Even his smile was half-hearted so I felt I had to leave him to any available seat. 

Devil is a liar!!!!!! The lady sharing food was doing that so meticulously, line by line. And I thought maybe I wouldn't be needing Obiechina after all. But look at this: We were the last line to be served. The lady left and never returned to our canopy again. After 30mins of waiting I decided to save myself and the others. So I approached my man, Echina and told him about our predicament.  He just motioned to me to chill. I went back and sat down. Another 30mins gone and I went to him again and I got this: “guy free me joor. How many times dey go bring food for una there sef?" Before I could open my mouth to say a word, Obiechina hissed and turned to shout at another guy who was trying to request for some bottles of alcohol.

 I felt singed by his words and actions. I wouldn't have approached him in the first instance, but his presence made me spray all the monies in my wallet thinking lunch was assured. The worms continued biting, the newly-wedded couples continued dancing, Obiechina continued shouting.

Will I be fasting for a second night in a row? No gas, no kerosene. And worst still, it's still not October 8 yet so I can start enjoying the benefits of a married man. 

So imagine how I felt when someone tapped me from behind and asked: “which brand, 3'3 or guider?"

#Pleasesavethedate#

#October8#

photo credit: www.southafrica.net