IT STARTS AT HOME

She refused all enticement to make her stop crying. First her mum gave her crackers biscuits and she turned her face and cried all the more. Her mum brought out Caprisone and she hit it off her hand and it landed on the floor. 

It was during homily so there was a frantic effort to get her to shut her mouth. Partly because the congregation wanted to hear the preaching and some needed a conducive atmosphere to top up on their morning sleep. 

So the mum signaled to her caregiver to come and carry her off. When the maid drew near, the little child held tenaciously to her mother. Soft-hearted woman who I sometimes buy recharge cards on credit from, she waved the maid away and thought probably her little baby will pause her cry. But she continued.

Then other mothers, single-but-searching ladies, engaged, single-but-not-searching ladies began to offer hands of help.

The first woman took her from the mum and offered her cheese balls. And her reaction of Messi-like; she gave the cheese ball a left-footed kick, so hard the woman couldn't stop it from hitting the target- the ground. Her cry took a pitch higher. 

One woman who was known for sitting at a particular spot in the 7:00 am mass every Sunday with her four quiet kids decided to try her luck. Personally I believed the woman could tame her cries. Her four kids are known for their adult-like maturity during Eucharistic celebrations. So she grabbed her and offered her a sip of an already opened sachet water. The crying baby extended her hands like she wanted peace before pressing the sachet hard. Hard enough to spill and sprinkle its contents on the woman's four kids baptizing them and on the woman to ensure she was born again. 

So many hands and offers of groundnut, chin chin, water, sweet and chewing gum, yet this little girl was not to be deceived into submission. The distraction was getting louder when the maid took the bull by the horn and carried her out from the church. All the while, the mum kept smiling.  Before I could concentrate on the homily the priest had concluded.

So I decided to believe that the little girl and her attitude was God speaking to us in a very special way: 

1. That parents should train their children to be strong and determined in their quest 

2. That we should not be easily swayed by the material things of the world: SAY NO TO CUCUMBER STYLE OF SUCCESS.

The little girl exhibited a strong attitude of disdain for material things of the world. When she grows up, I pity the young guys who will try to woo her by their material possessions.  

Photo credit: joe robinson official website

THE WOMAN WHO ENCOURAGED 'DEATH'

We live today for the future. Yet when we meet the future, it punishes you for the sacrifices and neglects of today. A man goes hungry in order to save a little for his children. He develops ulcer and it haunts him for life.  A woman goes out in the cold for her children to survive. Yet the future kills her with pneumonia.

We give birth to children and prepare them to be wise worldly. Grade one schools where millions are paid as school fees. Grade one vacation in the States, Europe and Asia. We buy them toy guns and cars so they can learn quickly how to defend themselves. We take them to parties so they can associate with people of their own class and possibly they can initiate some dating and relationships.

When we take them to church, it is usually only on Sundays and for one purpose: TO FULFILL ALL RIGHTEOUSNESS

YES it is to FULFILL ALL RIGHTEOUSNESS. For we never advise them to follow the tenets of Christianity. We rather indirectly and sometimes directly ask them to follow the tenets of SELFISHNESS and worldliness. 

For when he comes second in his class, all you do is to ask him whether Chika the girl that came first has two heads. You call that encouragement. Yes it is but only an encouragement to unhealthy competition and hate. Next term, Chika becomes a mate to hate and compete with, and not a mate to befriend and love. You tell him no one remembers who came second. But then you forgot that the Adam who came second is the one who is now adored and glorified as the Son of God.

We preach success at all cost to our children forgetting the consequences that come with some unhealthy determination: hate, selfishness, back-stabbing, submission to sexual slavery, murder, cover-ups and lies. 

We advise them to save their lives first in every circumstance and that God will understand. 

Then came this woman. She had seven sons. And all she did was to encourage them to die cruelly. She brought her children up in just one way: to respect, love and fear God and to keep to his tenets. She encouraged them to die so they can live and die no more. Even when she was left with just one and was asked to admonish him to embrace worldly life, she gave him more reasons to die. 

My point: The best gift you can give a child is love of God and neighbour. And when your child comes second or even last in his class, don’t give an encouragement of hate. After all, the head of the apostles was a man who worldly was an olodo. He even asked someone to write his Epistles for him. Oh, so you don’t know? Why do you think only Mathew, Mark, Luke and John wrote the gospel? And the head of everything that happened managed just two small epistles?

photo credit: traditional catholic priest

SORRY, I FAILED TO INVITE YOU

One thing I have learnt few weeks into my marriage is forgiveness without apology. Seriously I have always believed that apologies should be rendered for the process of forgiveness to kick-start. But I was mistaken.

Just some weeks back, I came home after an arduous work and I was treated to a chilled refreshing fresh juice by my other half. As the liquid extract from a blend of banana, pineapple and apple travelled refreshingly from my mouth through the esophagus down to the different parts and systems where they either begin their digestion or complete them, I smiled and nodded in appreciation.

However, my brain was quick to notice a difference.  That was not the first time I had taken a fresh juice. In my bachelorhood days, after a day's work and especially on Fridays, i would sneak into a bar and gulp down a bottle of alcohol or two. And sometimes when I remember my biochemistry and the effects of alcohol in some organs, I'd settle for Mama Ifeoma's fresh juice. I had always paid for a jug which was four times the amount for a bottle of my preferred green bottles. Her fresh juice was sweet no doubt. There was no complaint until my wife made me this thick one. Mama Ifeoma's was easy flowing probably as a result of dilution with water for the purpose of commercialization. I felt robbed.

"Next time I get to that 'joint', I must demand an apology from mama Ifeoma" I said to myself.

That same night, I received a whatsapp message from a number I didn't have in my contact. And the message read: "Hmmmm, Ben, so you are married and you didn't even invite me? Anyways, Congrats." I felt bad. Quickly I dialed the number and truecaller revealed it was Tonia. "How on God's earth did I forget to invite her?" I asked myself.  Tonia was a good friend back in the school days. We lost contact after school but 2yrs ago when I met my wife, she called one day and we chatted. I even quipped in during the chat that I have found a queen. She jokingly asked me to send her pictures for approval.

The next day, it was as if Tonia's message triggered a "you-forgot-me" cascade.

I met Godwin at work the next day and I was like: "Godwin, I didn't see you on my wedding day ooo. Then like he had been waiting for the question, Godwin exploded: "Did you invite me? I was just watching you giving out cards and telling those you cared to tell. Even common sms, you didn't send to me. Yet you told Francis. Francis that just started working here when sef. Please I don't go to occasions uninvited. "I couldn't believe my ears. Godwin works in an office next to mine. I gave the office a general card and moreso, I sent sms to all on my contact. Maybe something went wrong. I stood and watched him hissed and left without even saying "Happy wedlock"

I walked into the office distraught.  The secretary saw my mood and showed concern. When I explained she hissed and added: "Even Mr Joe called me on the day of your wedding and was lamenting for over 10mins that you didn't find him worthy of attending your wedding. He was mad and failed to see reasons."

At that point I learnt something: Sometimes we hurt others unconsciously. They feel hurt, angry and wait for us to apologize unknown to them that we never knew we've committed an offense against them. Sometimes we do the right things but an unknown factor (like network failure) causes a misunderstanding. And especially when planning events. Sometimes we fail to invite some persons we should have invited. When Dike came to greet me during the Dance Dance at the wedding reception I was surprised. And then he said: "Actually I just heard about your wedding from Imeh this morning. I was initially sad you didn't invite me but then I realized that you had too much going on in your head. So I had to cancel some engagements for old time sake and attend. I hugged him more closely and then we shouted our old time slogan in unison: "WE DEY BALL!!!"

He forgave without demanding an apology.

As the woman that sells 50% diluted fresh juice I forgave her immediately without needing an apology again. After all, she was better than the fake medical drug seller who accepted that his drugs were fake but insisted that they do not contain poison as a result do not kill the person that takes them as claimed by NAFDAC. He was right but he failed to see the other side: his drugs do not kill the patient but his drugs ensure that whatever the patient is suffering from, killed the patient.

Let us learn to forgive without demanding for an apology.  Sometimes, there's actually no offense. Or none intended. 

photocredit:  www.americanpunjabanpi.com

BRIDAL SHOWER OF MY FRANKINCENSE

WE ACTUALLY DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL

We actually didn't want to go to school.

As I opened my gate to hit the streets as usual, I was met with a usual scene. Cries and wailing of children who are being dropped off in schools by their parents and guardians. 

They didn't want to go to school. One child's cries of innocence really touched me. He was being pulled out of the mum's car by a teacher and he kept struggling to hold on to his mum. The mum just watched on as her poor child was being dragged and apparently whisked away to a place he doesn't want to be, at least for the moment. His cry was heart-piercing like that of children trying to save their heads from the hands of a pastor who nonchalantly dips their heads into a salty water of baptism and giving them foreign names as if their native names wouldn't guarantee heaven at last.

Immediately he was pulled clear from the car, the mum reversed and drove off. He threw himself on the ground just like Oby Ezekwesili when the soldiers blocked her peaceful March to Aso Villa. His cries of "my mummy, my mummy' were just falling on ears who were bent on dragging him inside a classroom to be probably bullied by his mates or even the teacher who will make him to believe that A is for Apple and he keeps wondering why the other teacher deceived them into believing that A is for Aeroplane. 

Another was crying profusely atop a bike. He didn't want school. The other was being dragged by one hand by her guardian not minding her resistance. When her resistance became too significant, the guardian responded by giving her a dirty slap. I wanted to intervene but I held my peace for the guardian might actually be the mum, and this is not America.

We actually didn't want to go to school. We were forced to school, indoctrinated and promised a brighter future. At the end of the indoctrination, our eyes were opened: No decent jobs, the future seemed more uncertain. Some of us started serving as apprentice to those who were able to avoid school. Some started off on their own doing things not related to their course of study. Some still went back to seek that promised brighter future by furthering their studies. 

But in the end, we really didn't want to go to school. We just wanted to be loved. Then make some money and pay back to those who showed us love. And then go the extra mile of saving the world.

We really didn't want to go to school. But finally, school is actually a place to experience.
That's why mum and dad 'pushed us to school. At least, you can bow out after a 'woeful' WAEC result. 

photocredit: #thesheet#

BENFRANKINCENSE 2016

THE FINISHING TOUCHES

IMAGINING HOW GOD HAS BEEN FAITHFUL

AND THE STAGE IS SET

THE JOURNEY HAS JUST BEGUN

YES I DO

THE BRIDE AND HER CHIEF

THE GROOM AND THE BESTMAN

THE TOP GUNS

GET READY FOR THE BIG EVENT

THE KING WITH HIS QUEEN

APPRECIATION

CUTTING OF THE CAKE

THE CUTE BRIDE