GOING TO THE CITY

 

When Ogbonnaya was told he would be following Uncle Max to the city, he was overjoyed. He had heard so many things about the city. When Adaku visited her aunt in Onitsha, she came to class the next term with so many enthralling and jaw-dropping stories; Adaku told them about the big river times ten the size of Eluala, their village. The giant storey buildings that are almost touching the sky and the burning unquenchable fires that produce light at night. 'My aunt has a big akpati, wooden box' spreading her hands as if to contain the size of the wooden box. 'inside the wooden box you could see human beings black and white alike. She heard them speak asusu obodo oyibo, English. She even shook hands with them. The lie wouldnt hurt afterall the city is far and she alone was priviledged to visit.

Ogbonnaya would come back to the village with some good and enticing stories too. Nneamaka never showed any affections towards Ogbonnaya. Yet his heart had always palpitated whenever he saw Nneamaka. He wished he would feel the fleshy outgrowth on her chest. The other day at the stream, her water pot had mistakenly fallen and water wetted her gown. The gown got plastered on a curvy shape allowing Ogbonnaya to have a rare of her seductive backside with all the contours at full display. His visit to the city would change everything. He would come back as a city boy. Nneamaka would come running after him. Then he would get the opportunity to feel and even squeeze those tender breasts. He even be allowed to go further.

Ogbonnaya had finished packing his clothes into a polythene bag and walking out to meet uncle Max when his mother called him from the kitchen; 'OGBONNAYA wake up and go and fetch some firewood !!!' Ogbonnaya suddenly stood up from his bed. He had been dreaming.

The city was still a mirage and worst still, Nneamaka's fleshy breasts were still not within grasp.

HUNGER REMINDS YOU OF YOUR MARITAL STATUS

 

Exhausted from the day's hustle, I was trudging home thinking of super. I was tired of everyday indomie and egg, Mama Arinze is a good cook but since the turn of the year, i have noticed an unbearable degree of commercialization. I once asked her about the reduction in meat size and general food quantity. Her reply was as epic as the $2.1bn scam, 'my son, na BUHARI OOOOOO'.

'I can't eat another indomie tonight', I said to myself. For a moment i thought about those flakes that saved our lives back in the days as broke students; biscuit flakes, corn flakes. Then i thought i have found my dinner; a sizeable amount of Ijebu garri garnished with quite a number of groundnuts, adequate sugar, suitable amount of powdered milk. Then carefully and delicious mixed with chilled water. I smiled and wanted to sing, but my hope was quickly dashed by the stark reality that the only shop in my street that sells garri where I already was closed. Iya beji quarreled with her husband some days back. Maybe she has been sent packing.

I couldn't turn back to scout other streets for garri and co. It was past ten and I was extremely exhausted. Suddenly I had a brainwave; Chinedu my neighbor got married last year. We are good friends and though the aromas from his wife's kitchen were always seducing, I have always 'held my own'. I have always resisted the devil vehemently 'get behind me you flavored aroma of long throat and begging'. 'Tonight, I have to beg'. I quickly hatched my plan; I would greet him thunderously from the gate of the compound in a humorous way. Then I would knock on his door. His nursing wife would sure be the one to open the door. Gladly and full of smiles I would take the baby girl from her and sing her some songs. Then I would gist with my good neighbor. If no food is forthcoming then I would jokingly ask whether baby has eaten. Then from there, maybe I would request a plate of food to eat with baby arguing that if she declines to eat, then I would confirm that she has been nutritiously served afore.

'Neighbour!, neighbour,!!', I shouted from the compound gate. No replies. Then I proceeded to his door and knocked. Another suggestive silence. Hunger in me was persistent so was my resolve to 'scavenge'. I knocked until the door clicked open and I met a family saying their night prayer. I wanted to excuse them but I said to myself 'maybe they always say their night prayer in conjunction with their prayer before meal thanking the God that provides before they eat what He had provided. What a family! So, I asked if I may join. I was shown a seat. After the Bible reading, we sang and my neighbor concluded 'may God almighty grant us a quiet night and a perfect end. We all shouted Amen. We exchanged greetings before the wife asked the houseboy to go and wash all the pots and plates before sleeping. At that point, I knew my game was up. But I had knocked for a reason, so my neighbor was waiting to hear me out. Quickly, I turned to him and asked if he had seen the PHCN bill by the gate. Before he could reply I was already on my way out. Climbing my stairs, I pondered on my situation and on the lasts words of the prayer, “Will God almighty be granting this family a quiet night while condemning me to a hunger-stricken end?"

‪#‎Classof‬'80sgogetawife#

WATERWORKS THAT NEVER WORKED

 
"Back from school, upstairs and into the room, we changed to our casual wears and came out all leaning against the iron bars in the balcony. We chatted and poked fun with and at our playmates that just came back too; some still downstairs while others just like us were standing in their balconies.

All of a sudden, we had a sharp sound like a loud sneeze followed by a hollow sound and then a great gush out from the water tap. For a second, we paused, looked downward to confirm our doubts, then shouting Water! Water!! we took hold of our gallons and buckets and started running down and toward the water tap. It was a big compound so we needed to act fast and be amongst the first to fetch. After all, the last time the waterworks remembered us, the water tap was functional for only about 45mins. So in a bid to be among the first to fetch water, we deployed all sorts of tricks, from running to the tap without any gallons to secure positions by standing on our feet to throwing down the gallons from our balconies.

So as the young Chike made his way towards the tap with a 5litre gallon he was sure he would make it before the line becomes too long. Ebuka was already downstairs waiting for Amaka to throw down the bucket for him. Ebuka beckoned on Amaka to be fast else they lose a fetching position. Under this immense pressure, Amaka got hold of an iron bucket and then without looking threw it down for Ebuka to catch. However, the hapless Chike's great run coincided perfectly with Amaka's downward bucket drop completing a 90° angle on Chike's head. Instantly, the poor boy slumped with an external wound to his head(don't know about the internal). Amaka's shout drew the attention of everyone and so quickly Chike was lifted off the ground and taken to the nearest health clinic. Of course, the fetching of the water continued albeit in a sorrowful mood. 

Late at night, news filtered in that Chike was awake and full of life. We rejoiced and danced that Amaka's bucket didn't take away the lovely Chike from us. Chike's father came back and was told about the incident. He was ecstatic that his son survived but he also added that the responsibility of his son's averted death would have rested solely on the State Waterworks. For if water was always available as it should be, the unhealthy jostling for water tap positions wouldn't even be in existence. On that day, we learned another lesson: "Be responsible and discharge your duties effectively. Your actions or inactions might lead to sad end"(8)

(Culled from my unpublished work: GROWING UP IN OUR DAYS)
The last flash.
WATCH OUT FOR THE RELEASE OF THE BOOK IN FEW MONTHS TIME

OUR COLLECTIVE STORIES

"As usual our fathers had gone to their respective businesses and we were at home, for it was a public holiday. The boys took to playing football while the girls were playing their 'o-ri-yo-ma danger'.

It was past mid day when news filtered in that the Part 2 of 'LIVING IN BONDAGE' was being watched somewhere in the neighbourhood. Living in Bondage? Andy had accused Paulo of improper explanation regarding ritual money. He had gone ahead anyway to kill Merit, his wife for the rituals. Merit's ghost had appeared once to Andy with threat of restlessness and torment. And the long-awaited Part 2 was being watched somewhere!!!
Quickly, we abandoned our games and headed the direction of the house where the coveted Part 2 was being seen.

The first set of boys had entered when the door was shut leaving the rest of us outside. But we needed to see this movie. We deployed all our strategies to gain entrance; starting from whispering some of their names to knocking sluggishly on the door.

As we were about resigning to our fate, the door clicked open and it was one of our own who came out- Chinonso. Before he could open his mouth to utter words of caution, we had all dashed into their parlour scouting for bare floor to sit on. As I looked around to acknowledge the presence of the successful entrants, my eyes caught the eyes of him, whom I would otherwise have not bothered about watching the 'Living in Bondage' that day. We had just been warned about incessant watching of movies in people's houses and here I was knocking, whispering, dashing in and scouting for floor right in front of the glaring eyes of my father. I took my eyes off, distraught, uneasy and soaked with sweat. Of course, he wouldn’t ask me to get up and go home for he is a gentleman. So I was allowed to see off the duration of the 'Living in Bondage but gosh! I watched in bondage.

When the movie ended, I knew that was the beginning of my reprimand. Calmly, I made my way to the door and left. When I got to the house, I went to a quiet corner and sat, waiting to be called. He came in, called out for his food. Mum served him. Night came, we prayed and off to bed. Can God be this merciful? I pondered. No Chukwudi come here. Hmmmmm, maybe he saw the sweat dripping from my face, the remorseful silence and the timidity of my look when our eyes locked together. Maybe he reasoned that it was enough punishment for his poor lad seeking to satisfy his childhood curiosity"

[culled from my unpublished book: GROWING UP IN OUR DAYS(stories, challenges and lessons)]

OUR COLLECTIVE EXPERIENCE

"Ada was not the most intelligent of students in her days but she majored up nicely to have been granted a university education. Like most of her peers, she was an average student.

Her West African Examination Council (WAEC) result was a testament to her average but commendable academic status. She got credits in her English, Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry and Biology. A D in Agric science, and B2 in Igbo language and Christian Religious Knowledge. So also wrote literature-in-English language but it was a failure.

But all she needed was an average result in JAMB examinations too. And she needed to write only English, Mathematics, Chemistry and Physics in order to secure her admission into the University of Nigeria Nsukka (UNN) to study Medicine and Surgery. Her second choice of course of study was pharmacy in the same UNN. In her first JAMB result, she scored 200 out of 400 but she was told that the cut-off mark was 280. So no medicine and surgery admission for her and even pharmacy department has set its cut-off mark at 250. She had to wait for another year to try again or according to a source, she should bring one hundred and fifty thousand naira (N150,000) to secure an admission in zoology. Her father was a retired railway officer and her mum a petty trader in one of the markets in their vicinity. She had to wait for another year. She improved her score to 220 the next year but again, medicine and surgery had their cut off mark set at 260 and pharmacy at 240. Yet again, only 200,000 can secure her an admission in pharmacy.

On her third try, she changed her childhood ambition and registered for public health as first choice and medical laboratory science as a second choice. She did score 200 and was set for admission as the cut-off mark for public health was set at 180. She was ecstatic and ran home to break the news for her parents. But that was not the end, the government just introduced another examination called the Post-UME. Having passed, the JAMB examinations, one was also expected to write a Post-UME before a provisional admission would be secured. She registered and prepared and wrote the examination. She got 36 out of 50 marks in the examination in the public health department. The pass mark was set at 25. So she was sure that an admission was in the offing. The list of admitted students were released and her name was conspicuously missing. She was opportune to meet with the secretary to the head of department who told her that her name didn’t show up because she needn’t follow up on her score. Follow up on her score? She asked. The secretary broke it down for her; yes follow up as in with some financial backing. Ada has been denied of her admission again on account of money.

Her financially-privileged friends were now either in her two or three of their university years. A young business man came and sought for her hand in marriage. Due to the financial burden, her parents married her off at 22. After all, the man even promised to send her to school. The next JAMB examination, Ada was already pregnant but because she really wanted to further her education managed to write the examination. However, her score that time wasn’t encouraging; 150 out of 400. She was advised by her husband to give up. That was how, her academic pursuit ended. I pray she has found peace wherever she is today"

That was the case of so many students that sought admission into the Nigerian universities. Many students missed out on their first choice of universities while many more settled for courses they never wanted. This always led to lack of dedication and commitment amongst students during their university days.

"When dreams are denied, mediocrity is encouraged"

GOD LIVES IN THE STREETS

 

It was around 11:30pm. She pleaded with her husband to waste no further time thinking. 'Baby, please let's get going. Times are bad. We do not know him. If he were to be a good man, all these men gathered would have helped him out'. Her husband wanted to yield to the pleas of his loving wife but the hapless and helpless man continued albeit faintly: 'Sir please help me. I have lost a lot of blood. I'm dying. It was an accident. Look at the bike man lying lifeless'. The man again looked at the broken and protruding bones of the victim and decided to help out. 'He is dying' , he said to his wife. 'I can't leave him here. No I can't'. Quickly, he jumped out of his SUV and with the help of an onlooker, he lifted the victim up and into his jeep. There was no sleeping that night. They got to the hospital around 3:00am. Then having secured an admission in the hospital, the man left around 5:00am. My friend the victim, would go on to spend 5months and 2weeks in both traditional and orthodox hospitals before he was declared fit to be discharged.

God lives in the streets.

He lost His accommodation years ago. If you happen to see Him wandering in the streets and you can, get Him a place to lay His head.

He lost his job some months back. Now He is seeking employment. If you are in the position, do give Him a job. Let not thy hands be tied.

 The other night, He got knocked down by a drunk driver. The banker saw Him dying and passed by. He was late and needed to get some rest before the next day. The pastor saw Him and passed too. He was running late to a night vigil. The man that picked Him up was an ordinary man who saw the divinity in Him. A Simon of Cyrene

God lives amongst us.

 

His children were sent out of school for nonpayment of school fees. Can you? Please they need to learn

If you are on your way to church on a Sunday morning and you happen to see Him on the road begging you to help Him convey his dying child to a hospital. Hit 'em brake. Forget the church. God just met you outside the church.

He has lost all hopes. He has taken to drinking. He is now a drunk. He just fell inside a gutter. Please help Him up. And should you know His home, take Him home.

Deceivers and swindlers abound. They extort, they kill and they plunder. But never mind, God is always on the watch out for His own. And should you die helping a supposed God, Oh how bless you are!!!!

It is actually better to die helping than to live neglecting. Because to do the later, on the last day, you might stand, regretting.

ALWAYS LOOK DOWN

 

Look back. There is always a past. It guides the future
Look forward. The future is there for the taking
Look sideways. There always a hand to hold
Look down. There are people to help up.
Look up. There is a Loving God that cares.

But if you must do just one of the following.
Then I advise you look down.
The people you helped up define your eternal destination.
Don't worry about looking up. He already knows your needs
Don't worry about looking forward, He has it all planned out
Don't worry about the sideways, He will guide you always
And Don't worry about looking back. Hey, He got your back
‪#‎whatsoever‬ you do to the least of my brothers. That you do unto me#

GIVING AND GIVING RIGHT

 

Caspar, Melchior and Balthazar abandoned their respective kingdoms. They convened at a spot maybe as the unique star directed. But unique about their journey was the gifts they were carrying; GOLD, MYRRH and FRANKINCENSE. The three kings(Magi) knew they were on a sojourn to behold a GREATER KING. So gifts were of the essence. Not just any gift anyway. Suitable gifts. Gifts worthy of this kingdom, his sacrifice and the preservation of this king at death. Today CHRIST remains he KING OF KINGS.

The year is still unfolding. And many birthdays will definitely unfold with it too. Lionel Messi's elder brother once said that they always bought him (Lionel Messi) a football every birthday. Today, Messi is arguably the BEST PLAYER EVER.

And so, it came to pass that your sister delivered a bouncing baby boy. Two days after, being led by joy you visited them and brought with you BABY DIAPERS only as gifts for the newborn child. I wonder what you believe the child will grow into. Babysitter???? A maid??????

The mother of the child already knew she needed to buy those. And already have them too. So you are expected to come visiting, bearing gifts of admirable wishes. Maybe a palmtop, if it was revealed to you that the baby will grow into a computer scientist. Or a musical instrument, if you believe will be 'THE NEXT BIG TALENT'. Get him a toy stethoscope and wish him well should he consider Medicine. A toy aeroplane should he consider a career in aeronautics.

2016 has come with another opportunity to right some of these wrongs. There will be so many newborns this year. Please visit with kingly gifts.

Having presented their gifts to the child they found in the manger, in a dream they were warned not to return to king Herod. So, they followed another route to their respective kingdoms.

Have you ever woken up from a sleep and discover you had exactly the same dream with your neighbour or friend or brother or mother etc??? 

‪#‎AWESOMEGOD‬#

DEAR NEW YEAR

I'm really gonna miss you dear 2015. You were great and unique. Forever, in my mind.

Dear 2016,
How are you? I write to welcome you into our passing generation. The events leading to your navitity started some months back. The news of your conception was greeted with great shouts of joy and gladness. Your bro, 2015 did his best in our spiritual, physical, economical and moral growth. He made us so promises at his birth and was able to fulfill almost all. But due to the want of time, he shifted some of his promises to next year being you, dear 2016.
I know he must have told you but I'm here just to remind you:

In 2015, many were born
2016, please grant them the necessary child care services to make it pass their fifth birthday. Let them not be counted under U5MR.

In 2015, many got married
Dear 2016, please children are of the essence

In 2015, many graduated
Let it be said that they got good jobs in 2016

In 2015, many planted a seed
We pray the seed germinate and produce fruits in 2016

In 2015, many died in terrorist attacks
Dear 2016, we are tired of changing our profile pictures to Pray for this and that.

In 2015, some cried bitterly
Oh 2016, that their tears be dried swiftly

We know that God has handed you many good tidings for us. Please share generously. A wife needs a child. A graduate needs a job. A business man needs profit. A sick man needs healing. A poor man needs money. A student needs good grades. A bachelor needs a wife. A prisoner seeks freedom. And some freedom fighters want justice.

Eheeee, dear 2016, in 2015 our economy was seriously shaken. Please, we need a balance.

About Chibok girls. I hope you have an answer to that, O 2016!
About our country in general. We need DEMOCRACY. Yes you heard me well. True Democracy.

Thank you in anticipation
Yours truly

A child of the 80's