THE EXAMINATION PROPER

Then everyone reassembles at 2:00 pm for the rescheduled examination.  The examination rituals are done and everyone gets settled down in the big exam hall to the final showdown. 

The bond formations have been perfected and this time Obi happened to get it right. Obi is sandwiched right between Sandra the guru and Max popularly known as student HOD for his enviable academic exploits. He clenches his fist and pump it under his locker in order not to give away the apparent happiness. 

With head lowered he quickly did a sign of the cross partly  in thanksgiving for prayer answered and in plea for answers to be copied verbatim. Then he looks sideways acknowledging greetings from his pals who rather wish they were him(sorry they wish not to be him but to be in his position). His face keeps beaming with 'untriggered' smiles.  Then he taps Max and signal to him that his pen had just fallen down. And yet he proceeds to pick up the pen for Max. Of course, Max is smart enough to know that one good turn deserves another.  He then turns to Sandra and stupidly asks whether the black pen on her desk is 'a black pen'. Then he offers to give up one of his blue pens should Sandra be interested. Sandra smirks. 

The papers are shared and the lecturer shouts: "START!!!!!!!!"

Max is a fast writers so though his writings are quite legible, reading them from Obi's position can be quite difficult. Before he could see a complete sentence, Max is already turning to a new page. Turning back to peep through Sandra's, he experiences a blockage. Sandra writes legibly but her left palm is always up and shielding her answers from visible rays ( rays from giraffing eyes too)

35mins gone and Modo is already up and going to submit his papers. He's that good. Jimoh follows suit. Max is already up when Obi called on him to sit back and help him out. He really wanted to sit back but the invigilator beckons on him to walk up and submit. Blood!!!!!!! Sandra left when the invigilator announced that it was remaining 30mins to the end of the paper. Up the ceiling,there's no answer. Sideways the gurus are long gone. Ken is willing to help but he's far. He tries moving his lips but Obi just can't grab it from mere looking at his lip movement. 

On her way to submit, Amina drops the 'microchip' on top Obi's desk. Quickly, He grabs it and answers question no 1. Just one out of 5 questions before the lecturer shouted again: STOP WRITING!!!!!

Of course,  Obi has always known that he will spill over. He's greatest annoyance now is that it might take him more than 2years after his peers graduation to finish up. 

photocredit: www.naijaloaded.com

EXAMINATION FEVER

No one ever stopped doing this:

Maybe, we never started reading the same day for the same examination. But we mostly stopped reading at the same place and time (+/-5mins).

Once the examination is announced and time-table pasted we all clicked into what our educational system made us understand: YOU ARE IN SCHOOL TO PASS YOUR EXAMS.

So we would start planning ahead in earnest. Reading vigorously and submitting assignments. Reading copied assignments and asking questions. Night classes, library visiting and group discussions. Then some who believed in the 11th commandment who embark on planning on the best ways to bring in 'microchips' into the arena and NEVER GET CAUGHT; clothes starchly ironed to  improve the quality of writing below, possible formulae tattooed on various parts of the body, possible questions summarized in pieces of papers. Then bond formations around the best brains for effective distribution of answers and tips. We are all guilty here. 

We read till the final day. Then the final drama-reading  starts

" Please line up for the exam"

Then you would see Abimbola glancing hastily through the pages of her books as if the examination was just announced. 

Mike the maicooo, would be seen following John the bookwarm closely as if he was charged to never let him leave his sight.

Jimoh who had already lined up who rush out of his position and towards his books to check out something as if he just had a revelation. 

Adanna with her head slightly elevated would be mumbling some inaudible words she had crammed some minutes before joining the line.

Henry would still be confirming the code from Jumoke: " alkene is double bond while alkyne is triple bonds, right? Jumoke would nod and then Henry would repeat the statement continously until he checks into his desk in the examination hall and mix them up again.

Into the examination hall, some bonds would have been broken, some newly formed. Some left happy and some distraught. 

Then the lecturer walks in and announce a change in the examination time. It would be held in the afternoon by 2:00pm. Some students would be happy, some sad and some lukewarm. 

Check back by 2:00pm and you would still see the abovementioned students doing their pre-examination rituals over again. And the feeling of DEJA VU would engulf you.

Our educational system encourages cramming and so we would use nemonics and codes. Should the brain skip a code, all its genetic translation would automatically lead to mutation. 

DEAD MAN WALKING

 
He is a jolly good fellow. I wouldn't say he is a talkative but he's vivacious. Fun to be around. So you will easily understand my surprise when I discovered he has not spoken to me for nearly 6hours. At first, I got it or so I thought; he probably woke up from the wrong side of the bed. I respected his silence. Who knows? Maybe he just fought off a mighty opponent from his dreams. I was allowing the 'new' him to wear off so he can tell me more about the dwindling economy and the most recent CBN policy.

But things took another turn when he was about going into the comfort room and I called out to him and he didn't answer. He didn't even look back. He just opened the door and shut it behind him. Gosh!!!!! My eyes opened and my mind did too. So many stories about some dead people who had been seen in some other places and soon vanished when the news of their death arrives. The stories are virtually the same; they wouldn't talk to you. And they would be fast and before you know it, they are gone. Then I remembered a remedy was offered to arrest such situation and bring the person back to life; a sharp razor cut does the magic.

So immediately I reached for a sharp razor. Then I tiptoed to the door side and waited. I can't afford the lose this friend. Nooooo!!!!!!!!

Immediately the toilet door flung open, I steadied and resolved not to miss. On sighting the first human part I took a sharp and clean slit. "Arrrrghhhhhhhhhhh, what was that???????" My friend said writhe in pain. Quickly I made the sign of cross and replied: "welcome back bro. You were dead, now you are life".
"What?" he enquired trying to stop the bleeding. I explained the whole story of his silence and the childhood stories of the dead which he himself had always told me and believed all of it.

My guy shook his head and said to me: "Bia Ben, mind yourself ooooo. Don't you know this is Ramadan. I'm fasting alongside our Moslem brothers. I was praying that's why I have been silent.
I felt sorry and immediately apologized. But who knows???? MAYBE I JUST 'RESURRECTED' THE DEAD.

‪#‎hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha‬#
‪#‎happyramandan‬#

THAT ANNOYING MOMENT

 

That situation can be annoying. I mean, very annoying. 

You had everything mapped out. Mr A could only be seen in his office on Mondays at 11:00am- 11:30am. You had cancelled and/or rescheduled some of your very own daily to-do-lists just to meet up with highly principled Mr A. 

A little rain delay which you believed must have delayed Mr A too. Then there you were in Mr A's office complex. You'd seen his car and smiled. Then you took the other staircase up to his office. You greeted his secretary cheerfully and request to see Mr A. The Secretary looked bewildered and asked if you hadn't run into him on his way downstairs. 

She looks through the Window and beckons on you to come have a peep; Mr A's car that was initially at rest had overcame the force of inertia and now travelling at a velocity greater than zero and towards the GATE OUT. 

You tried to rush down but you very much know that Mr A would not bring the kinetic energy already gained by his automobile to an abrupt potential energy because of you. Dejected, you asked the obvious question: " When will he be back to attend to visitors? ". "Next week Monday sir". Came the reply.

Of course you know it's next week Wednesday. Your question actually is: " WHY MUST IT BE ONLY MONDAYS11:00am - 11:30am?????

‪#‎smh‬#

A TOP THE PEDESTRIAN BRIDGE

So I got the call that I should have to wait another 30mins before coming for the package. I was already a top the pedestrian bridge; it was newly completed so its pitiable inhabitants have not moved in completely. So I decided to wait and waste some times up above. 

Looking down from the bridge and forward, backward and sideways I momentarily had the feel of a god powerful to some extent to inflict harm and to reward goodness. No wonder they say that the view from the top is beautiful. I felt in control. I could see everything happening(forgive my manners. I actually meant virtually everything). 

I saw the commuters gearing at high speed to meet the daily targets agreed with the bus owners. Stopping at intervals to pick and let passengers alight. I smiled and 'blessed' them.

Then I couldn't help but see the on rushing and jostling Lagosians in a bid to get to their various working places and businesses. Some driving to work, some using public transport and some using their God-given legs. Again, I looked upon them from my standing above and 'blessed' them.

It was around 7:09am in the morning. Then I saw two uniformed kids trying so hard to cross the four-laned road. The bus was still far when the older one tried to drag the younger across but her bag fell, so they had to run back. The bus passed. Other buses followed up behind like they had been freed from a traffic jam. The older kid continued to wave the buses to a stop but to know avail. I pitied them. But then, why try crossing the four-laned road at such high risk when they could have easily looked up to 'me' and use my 'way'. Oh, how we suffer so much when we could just look up to God and follow His way. I signaled to them with both sign and spoken sounds and they eventually climbed the pedestrian and walked across. God loves children. And He has a way of speaking with understanding with them. How I wish I would go back to my childhood. 

The roadside hawkers were early. Taking advantage of every traffic and bus stop to sell their goods. The passengers pray against traffic. The hawkers pray for it. I wonder how to balance the different requests to their prayers. I seemed not to find an easy way to help them. I may be a god by my standard but I'm not omnipotent in any way.

Then my phone started to ring again. I was like, oh, I here trying to solve confusing prayer requests and another call from probably another person in need is coming. I angrily reached into my pocket and picked the phone. The voice from the other end, then said; " Sir, please come and pick your package. It's ready". I came back to my humanity. I'm no God. Just a human being created in the image and likeness of God.

#GodisGood#

PRESIDENT OF MUBRAA MR SOLOMON AND HIS LOLO WELCOMES A BABY BOY

The president of Madonna University Block Rosary Alumni Association welcomed a baby boy this morning. Congrats to them.  AVE!!!!! 

MY LUXURIOUS BUS EXPERIENCE

 

So I decided to travel using a luxurious bus partly because it's a luxury to the common man and partly because my elder brother would always warn against the suicidal nature of traveling in a mini bus.

It's cheaper compared to mini bus, it's slower and its central aisle is always decentralized by ‘attachees’ and their luggage. So where's the luxury in this bus???? Anyway, had that been my only problem on that day, I would have had a great journey eastward. 

Beside me was a smart looking young damsel many men would love to have as a seat partner and maybe something more than that afterwards. First, she sat by the Window side and when I came on board and explained why the near-window seat was my lot, she didn't hesitate to make the necessary adjustment. Wow, I said to myself; "she's even obedient and respectful. I took my rightful position. 7:02am, we left the park. 

The luxurious bus preachers cum drug sellers took their turns to sell the gospel but most importantly their trade to us. I bought the first sale with my repetitive Amen to the good journey wishes. When I failed to buy the second sale, the eyes of the seller weren't so kind on me. Who cares anyway? Of what use would a drug which the self-admitted, matriculated, inducted and convocated medical doctor claimed can eliminate all forms of viral infections e.g Staphylococcus aureus be to Me???? To the drug, the cause of malaria would certainly still be as a result of bad air inhalation. 

Ehen, the smart-looking young damsel beside me. She wasn't really saying a thing. But she was saying many things. The different stinging sounds being produced by her churning of chewing gum was nauseating; 'tai tai tai' and then she would make a bulb off the chewing gum and then 'wickedly' puncture the bulb with a louder 'toi' sound. Calling her to order might result to 'insult padding' and I had consciously left my earpiece back at home for I wanted to read a Chimamanda book inside the luxurious bus. 

Ignoring her 'witchy' sounds, I went ahead to open my novel and began to read. After a while, her chewing subsided and I was a bit relieved. Maybe, she just realized that I was reading and decided to grant me a conducive environment.  What respect again from this Lady. As I was trying to cut her some slacks, that was when she asked; “Sorry, what book are you reading?" We were seat partners so I felt there was no need shouting it. I just turned to the cover of the novel to let her see the caption. Slowly, she pronounced: "CHI-MA-AMA-N-DA". Then she continued; “wow, nice. Who wrote the book? The book sounds Igbo".  I replied with subdued anger and; “The name of the writer is CHIKE and the River". She looked at me for a moment and I thought maybe she knew I just said rubbish.  Then, with a finger pointing upward and dangling as if lost in thought she said: “I think I have read a book written by those two before back in my secondary school days. Anyway, we read higher novels now in the university" Yes, I replied, "CHIKE and RIVER are great writers". 

I turned to continue my reading but I just couldn't. The noise of her ignorance was more nauseating than the noise from her chewing gum. I asked her; "Sorry, which course are you studying in school?" and she replied confidently; “LITERATURE IN ENGLISH ". 

Mr President, if you need someone to help out in your biography please just take another 10 days vacation and use that time to meet specialists in the literary field.

LOVELY PICTURES FROM ONYEKA JOHNPAUL AND NGOZI UCHENNA'S PRE-WEDDING SHOOTS

lovely pic

stunning

 KEEP A DATE WITH THEM ON THE 18TH OF JUNE, 2016

LOVE ONE ANOTHER

The chicken and the egg; which one came first?

When i was first asked that question, as a believer in God it was so simple, so easy. The chicken of course came first for God created the land animals including chickens on the 6th day. Male and female He also created them.

But that's not what's important.

What or who comes first doesn't really matter. Who comes last also is subject to personal definition. No one comes last unless he says so. Warri boys know this too well that's why they 'no dey carry last'.

Just as the world rotates, so is everything in it; good or bad. The good experience good and bad times so do the bad experience the two too for the Lord provideth them both.

This is what really matters in life: THE LOVE YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS.

God is not even asking you to love Him. Nope, He fulfilled His commandment in the New testament when He gave the mandatum novum.

And as for the first, they shall be the last. And the last shall be the first. And it doesn't stop there. The positions keep shifting till we conquer death and achieve IMMORTALITY.

"A man has not started living until he can rise from the narrow confines of himself to the border concerns of humanity"

-Martin Luther King Jr

"Life most urgent and persistent question is: what are you doing for others?" 

-Martin Luther King Jr.

Be a Christian. Be a Moslem. Be a traditionalist. But first, be a HUMAN BEING

PRE-WEDDING SHOOTS FROM ROSEMARY (MUBRAAN) and ANTHONY

Happy married life in advance

keep a date with them on 18th June, 2016

ADORABLE PIX FROM MADONNA EMMANUEL'S WEDDING

Couple with parents and sponsors

MC Pigo and one of the groom's men

Beautiful bride

Bride and her chief bridesmaid

Groom and his best man

MUBRAALAG representing.

WELCOME TO THE FINAL LAP

So on 1st January resolutions were made, targets set and action plans mapped out. I know the resolutions turned into a politician's promises before the end of the year's first week. Some survived the first month. While some got missing with our national budget discovered but with bloated figures.

Yes, it is true that the government has made us to believe that the foreign reserve is fast running empty but our resolves for self development shouldn't follow suit too. 

It is 1st June, the dividing line of 12 Gregorian months. So we are all halfway up or halfway down. Again being either depends on our resolve.

It is not easy to write these days without saying a little thing about the economy; the economy of the nation and the dryness of many pockets. What makes it worse is than the man in charge of our banker's bank threatens us with RECESSION.

But we will certainly emerge victorious. Who is RECESSION by the way? We survived a civil war. We survived a looting BABAGINDA, murderous ABACHA, power-thirsty ABIOLA, undemocratic OBASANJO, indecisive and weak JONATHAN. Not enough? They restarted the same system again with a man who led a coup against the rule of law and of course, it's not rocket science he's at it again. Our dear SUBSIDY has been removed too. Yes it may be wise but wiser is the fact that we operate a very cost-ineffective style of government. That should be removed.

But we are obedient to Hooke's law of elasticity. We return to our original shape and length after expansion. But still just as Hooke's law stipulated, we might be stretched one day beyond elasticity. Then we will yield and further to a breaking point. In those days, the Poor man and the hungry will have only the rich to feed on. And it would definitely be a delicious desert.
But before then, self development is advised.

It's June, let's make the other half of the year count.

HAPPY NEW MONTH COMMON MEN
(For God so love the common men, He created many of us).