Wednesday 7 December 2016

UNIFORMED TOUTS

 Image result for omo onile
I thought TuPac is dead????

Owo mi da (where is my money)? is easily the most asked question in Lagos mainland. Popular amongst bus conductors and Omo Onile (landowners' sons).
The bus conductors deserve a payment for their services. But please who is owing the Landowners' sons (Omo Onile)????

Bus drivers, tricycle and motorcycle riders pay different kinds of levies for permits to ply the road yet there is this one that must be collected by glorified touts on the highways and byways. In the byways they mount roadblocks. On the highways they are allowed to carry weapons to threaten and sometimes hit non-complying bus conductors and okada riders.
So this morning, our bus driver and conductor decided not to comply. All attempts from the Omo Onile to collect their illegal fare was resisted by Dayo our bus conductor.

Uniformed Omo Onile: Owo mi da?

Dayo: who dey owe you moni? 

Uniformed Omo Onile: Aaarrrh. you wan try??

Dayo: Try wetin?

Other uniformed touts: Leave am, Tu Pac don dey come. Make him settle with Tu Pac.

The mention of the name Tu Pac got my attention. I have always been a huge fan of Tu Pac. His Dear Mama and Ghetto gospel always strike a chord in me whenever it is being played. After his death, it was rumored that he would resurrect. Maybe he did resurrect after all? I was curious. Thank God we were stuck in a traffic, so I will get to see him. But what's he doing here in Lagos and as a leader of Omo Onile. Anyway Tupac has always loved the ghetto life and he was a West coast rapper and Lagos is on the West too. It all made sense to me at once.

A tall lanky man with a hairless skull then appeared in front of our bus conductor. His "kilode" was too thick and deep-sounding that a doctor will quickly diagnosed a chain smoker, alcoholic and one who is 12 times as likely to develop a lung cancer. What has resurrection from the dead done to 'Tupac' I muttered. Dayo our bus conductor immediately brought out his fare of #100 and tried handing it over to 'Tupac'. A dirty slap landed on his cheek before 'Tupac' instructed one of his boys to collect the fare.

Our driver didn't talk again. Dayo didn't even utter another word in defiance. I kept pondering on the personality of 'Tupac'. The passengers maintained utmost silence. The fear of 'Tupac' is the beginning of ghetto wisdom.

Lagos state please take away miscreants from our roads. There are civilized ways of doing things in a Centre of Excellence.

photo credit: oexnews.com

2 comments:

  1. Eh ya, I was thinkng Dayo would have resisted him.

    Didn't know I was wrong!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. although Tupac is dead, his 'manhood' lives on

      Delete