BUS CONDUCTING ROLE

 

Yesterday with Ignatius will probably go down as my most memorable work day in 2016.

My itinerary was nicely scheduled to run from UNILAG to my commercial abode then home- perfect triangular arrangement, but then I met Ignatius. 

I have always known Ignatius since I finished my NYSC. We work in the same area. Last year he bought a bus which he claimed was suitable for ease of transporting his family and goods during outings and yuletide seasons. In fact last year, I was lucky to have traveled down to the villa with him and his family in his bus.

So yesterday, after I completed my postgraduate biotechnology in course, I walked straight to the bike stand to board one. The road was leading to LUTH entrance was as usual flooded with just the little drizzle from the night before. As I tried carefully with immaculate precision to circumvent the dirty flood, a bike man non-challantly designed my white t-shirt with a heavy splash of the milky brown water. He didn't even stop to offer condolence. 

There I stood totally soaked and dripping of brownish smelly waters. I had just answered some questions on Bioremediation and pollution and there I stood in anger pondering on the source of this water pollution and whether my newly bought t-shirt could be remedied by any laundry techniques. How can I even go to work with such dirt on me, I asked myself. But then I got a gratifying answer.

A loud horn from a bus sounded behind me. I turned and from the driver's side, a hand was waving at me to come. I looked closely and it was Ignatius. Hope at last.

Looking at my shirt, "ahh, Ben what happened?

"Igne, na okada man splash water on me ooo" I responded. 

He felt for me and asked me to enter his bus so he can drop me off. I told him I can't go to work again and he still insisted he will drop me off at my junction. I thanked him and hopped in. 

We got to the next junction and Igne started calling in passengers. I was awe-struck and he saw the surprise on my face. But he explained, since we were going that way, let him just pick these passengers and make some money for the family dinner then. I saw reasons with him after all this recession is really bad. I decided to show solidarity. We started calling in passengers. Two more junctions and bus was filled. Igne was driving and I don't need to be asked to collect the passengers' fares. Row by row, I collected their monies in my visibly stained white shirt, typical of a commercial bus conductor. I was speaking good English as I collected the money in order to passively communicate to the passengers that I wasn't a conductor, but just a conditional passenger. 

The man sitting on the second row was so pleased with my English and in order to appreciate, he asked me to keep his balance before going on to blame the government for my predicament: “Imagine, a young man with such fluency in English language working as a bus conductor.  This country has failed her graduates. Before I could turn to explain to him that I was just helping Igne out, the woman seated beside him had started telling the story of how her daughter who graduated since 2005 was now a sales girl at one supermarket in their street. The whole passengers joined in the discussion. Next junction and a young lady shouted: "Conductor, owa ooo." I looked at her with defeated eyes and she continued: "my change conductor ejoor.  No be me tell u make u finish school no see work." I looked at Igne to see if he would do something, but he was busy asking the lady to come down fast so he can carry another passenger. 

There was no opportunity to ask him whether he was now a bus conductor but my curiosity was satisfied at the next junction: the area boys approached his bus but on sighting him they began all forms of salutations and respect- baba, aja nla etc. He handed them #20 and they marked his bus. 

I felt played, used and dumped at the next junction. 

#he didn't even give me my own cut# 

photo credit: www.naij.com